Look, we get it. You see a website called “Best Beach Bars” and you assume the owner is lounging in a hammock somewhere, effortlessly sipping umbrella drinks while calling it work. And while that’s… not entirely inaccurate, there’s a whole lot more going on behind the scenes.
Here’s how the Beach Bar Bum actually does this thing.
That’s right. The Beach Bar Bum (or one of his very few trusted associates) personally visits every bar that earns a full review on this site. No relying on Yelp. No trusting some stranger on TripAdvisor who complained about the prices but gave it four stars anyway. We put on our flip flops, point the car toward the coast, and go.
In person. Drink in hand. Suffering through it all — for you.
A “beach bar” is a deceptively simple concept that a surprising number of establishments get completely wrong. Our reviews focus on the things that actually matter:
This is non-negotiable. A beach bar should have a view of the water — actual water, not a decorative mural of water, not a distant glimpse of a parking lot that used to be near water. We take the view seriously, because frankly, the whole point is the view.
You know it when you feel it. That combination of sand-dusted floors, Bob Marley or classic rock on the speakers, regulars who look like they haven’t left since 1987, and a general sense that your stress is already starting to dissolve. We assess the vibe carefully. It’s a tough job.
We’re not here to judge your cocktail program. A cold beer in a plastic cup beats a $22 craft cocktail with no ocean view every single time. That said — are the drinks reasonably priced? Are they cold? Is the bartender the kind of person you’d want to hear a story from? These things matter.
Not every great beach bar needs a full kitchen, but if you’re serving food, it should be the kind that tastes better because you’re eating it outside with sand between your toes. Fish tacos. Shrimp baskets. The classics.
Because nothing kills a beach bar vibe faster than a 40-minute parking odyssey followed by a quarter-mile hike in flip flops.
Not every listing on the site is a full review — here’s what you’re looking at:
🏅 Beach Bar Bum Certified — The Bum was there. Drank the drinks. Took the photos. Wrote the review. These are the real deal.
⭐ Guest Reviews — Reviews from associates and fellow beach bar enthusiasts. Vetted, but not personally verified by the Bum himself.
📍 Listings — Bars we’ve discovered and added to the map, but haven’t reviewed yet. The research budget is limited. We’re getting there.
We don’t do star ratings. Not because we’re lazy (okay, partly because we’re lazy), but because a beach bar is not a hotel room or a smartphone. A cold beer on a beach is, by definition, already a 10 out of 10. What we’re really assessing is whether a place lives up to its promise — and whether it’s worth your precious vacation time.
If we thought it was worth it, you’ll know. If we didn’t, well… we’ll still find something nice to say about the drinks.
All Beach Bar Bum Certified reviews are guaranteed to be accurate. And if they’re not — we promise to drink your beer for you.
There is no end to our dedication to our craft.